Easter is a special day this year. It is a day of looking back over the past year and realizing that I have made more progress in my spiritual life during that time than I had in many years. It didn't happen because I prayed more or because I read my Bible more, not even because I went to Church more. (To be honest I haven't physically been in a church building in quite some time.)
My life fell apart last January with a series of crisis' that I never could have imagined. I tried to put on a strong front. I tried to keep a smile. But deep down inside I was a train wreck. Through numerous events my heart was broken into so many pieces that I could not even begin to count them. I began to work more and more and then would come home, sometimes drink too much, and always go to sleep to escape. My son came to live with at some point (I honestly can't tell you what month it was!) but I remember him looking around the house and wondering out loud if maybe an atomic bomb had gone off somewhere! The house was a disaster - I hadn't cleaned anything since January (and again what month was that then?!) So he moved into the messy bachelor pad and slowly we began to get the place picked up and slowly I started to work through the pain. My son got angry a few times over the coming months, but he never criticized. He never condemned me. When my precious dog died, he left what he was doing to come be with me.
After a time I helped Jimmy, a friend of mine, with his political campaign. Nothing major - just kept up his political facebook page. It was something that was a pleasure to do and yet I stayed out of the public eye for the most part. Jimmy has told me on several occasions that he is proud of me and proud to be my friend. He most recently stated his pride when I completed a 60 mile cycling event to raise money for bikes for our veterans.
What does all of this have to do with Easter and with growing spiritually? My son and Jimmy both showed faith in me that I was of value. They appreciated me. They thought that I was "good enough" to be around.
So many other friends and family members didn't take that time. In my time of greatest need I was abandoned and effectively told you are not "good enough" for us to associate with you. I didn't live up to their standards in whatever way. Have you ever felt that way?
All around us in Christianity we are reminded of how sinful we are and how lucky we are that we won't go to Hell because of the Easter resurrection. Jesus came to save us miserable sinners. I don't know about you, but I beat myself up enough over my shortcomings without someone else adding even more shame! And that is what we do. We shame ourselves and we shame others. We beat up ourselves and then we beat others up with our specially chosen Bible verses.
When I realized what a great blessing Jimmy and my son were to me, I began to realize that my view of Jesus and even of Easter was all wrong. Even though I previously knew that Jesus did not come to condemn me, I still condemned myself.
And then I thought some more about the parable of the wheat and the tares growing together in the field. The question was asked as to whether one should tear up the weeds or not. The answer was no. To tear up the weeds would also rip out the roots of the wheat. Let them both grow together. Yes I have the bad and the good in me. They both are there, but I'm not dead yet and so the harvest is not here yet when the weeds of sin will finally be gone.
But notice, Jesus didn't say to basically kill myself by trying to destroy every evil weed. He knows of the enemy who has sown the weeds and he sees the weeds. He accepts it as simply a part of life. He accepts me.
The story of Easter is about Jesus the Christ who accepts me even with all of my weeds. He sees the good in me, not the weeds. It is a story of unmatched and unflinching love. It is a story of acceptance. We don't "ask Jesus into our hearts" to receive that love. It is His gift to us and we choose to accept that gift. No conditions. No half hearted love. There is nothing that I can do that will stop his love.
There is a reason that Jesus said that there were only 2 commandments. He had given us the greatest gift of unconditional love. Our response then should be to love God and to love all people thus becoming one in all.
Why has this caused such spiritual growth this year? When one can accept that kind of love there is a peace that comes. You don't beat yourself up over the weeds. You start to look for more opportunities to love your neighbor and thus God. In times of prayer you can sit at peace without words and simply feel His presence, to dwell there in that love. There's not the sense that I have to do better in my life in order to feel the Father's love. The pressure to be "spiritual" or "holy" is off because the love is not going anywhere for anything. It is total acceptance. When you are loved in that sort of way, isn't it natural that you simply want to do the same in return?
Blessings and Happy Love Day
David
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