Loving ISIL

A troubling trend has been happening for many years with American Christianity. The trend is disconcerting as American Christianity (in general) is being seen as an extreme right wing fanatical, judgmental, political and even militant cult. How many readers have I lost already? Seriously. To be honest, it is not just here, it is a brand of Christianity that is popping up in various parts of the world including the middle east this past week. This brand of Christianity is obsessed with guns, jail and prison time for law breakers, the death penalty, the increase in funding for the war machine, and of course the death of any terrorists. See the violent trend?


I may be seen as a little rough on American Christianity and I do admit that I am. There is a growing number of Jesus followers who I am reading of every day that are saying "enough." We do not want to be seen as a part of this group. Why? Because none, and I emphasize none, of these beliefs are in line with the teachings of Jesus. None. As a matter of fact these beliefs are considered immoral.


Of course the current focus is on ISIL. Otherwise, it would still be on the "illegal" children, Benghazi, Obama's fake birth certificate, or the evil of providing health insurance for our own people.


Don't get me wrong. I understand how serious of a situation that it is in that part of the world right now. It calls for a lot of deep thought and soul searching, and a measured response. But when Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty says "Convert them or kill them" red flags should go everywhere. Americans Christians are crying for the same thing that the enemy is crying for: death of the other side, of the enemy.


My own soul searching has shown me some things about Jesus that I think are important to note. He lived in a time when his country was being ruled and even oppressed by an outside terrorist nation, namely Rome. Rome often killed those who opposed them as she had to keep total control. Jesus in fact was considered one of those troublemakers and his own religious leaders made sure that He was taken care of, not through beheading, but through the agony of crucification. Because of this I would think that it is important to look and see what he thought.


Jesus gave fair warning that there would be hard times. He stated firmly that people would even die at the hands of their enemies. He said to expect it.  So what should we do as Jesus followers if an enemy does find us? Here is what He said:

• Love your enemies.
• Pray for them.
• Bless your enemies.
• Meet your enemies' needs.
• Loan them anything that they need.
• Don't expect anything in return.
• Carry their belongings for them if so asked.
• Do more for them than what they asked for.
• If they hurt you, do not return the favor.
• Be a peacemaker.

Wow. Almost sounds like pacifism, but it's not. It's a radical way too bring your enemy over to your side without violence or destruction. For the individual Jesus follower this is a radical way to live one's life. Especially radical when one considers that if we were there right now, living and breathing in the midst of that terror, we are called on by Jesus to follow those teachings. He elsewhere says that after his death there would be many deaths of early followers. He never told them to stand and defend themselves by pushing violence of the enemy. He told them to run from city to city practicing these radical truths.


I have high praise for the organizations who are "fighting" ISIL right now, not with the violence of weapons, but by love and service. These organizations like Samaritan's Purse have people on the ground helping those who seeking to avoid being killed. God's love is being shown in a dark place. I have high praise for the two journalists who voluntarily went to the part of the world to serve and yet to then be beheaded. They put themselves in the midst of a grave position and they paid the ultimate sacrifice.


There are no easy answers to how our country should respond. I appreciate the fact that our President has taken a slow line in building a coalition and in thinking out a strategy. I pray for him and our leaders daily. I enjoyed listening to President Clinton 2 days ago as he spoke of countries building interdependence with each other as this would slowly force out the troublemakers without violence.  Do I believe that we should kill the enemy? No. I believe that we must continue to help those who want to find safety to do just that and there are many good people doing just that.


But for the gun carrying American Christian, I encourage you earnestly to look at the teachings of Jesus again. Consider your response to any enemies that you might have. Have you done anything good for that enemy lately? Have you loved on them, prayed for them, gone above and beyond to meet some need that they might have? How would you respond to an enemy who might threaten you? Hopefully not in the same way as a "Christian" family recently did in Alaska.


Yes, American Christianity disturbs me greatly. But again, I bring it back to myself. How have I responded to my enemies? I've had a number of them - some who have brutally attacked who I am. I know that I have not always responded well, but hopefully I will do better in the future as a result of today's spiritual musing.


Blessings,
David

AA is Church? Not Quite.....

As a part of my job, on a semi regular basis, I get to attend and observe meetings of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). These are meetings that I look forward to, but today's was a little different. Today I was able to attend and observe a 4 hour Service meeting. I was able to hear about the many services that AA has nationally and then for the second half I enjoyed seeing different services showing of what they do to small groups of individuals. They do so much in the prisons and the schools along with their regular meetings. A part of recovery is giving back so that others can also find recovery.


The group that interested me the most was the one that sought to meet the needs of those with any type of disabilities. This group allowed attendees to try wheelchairs and crutches in miniature races (which turned out to be quite entertaining!). They also spoke of helping those with dyslexia, those with mental illness, and even those who had hearing or seeing difficulties. They spoke of safety within the groups and of course anonymity. It was all about meeting the needs of the individuals who would walk into the rooms seeking help in times of desperation. They strive to create a warm and safe environment.


It got me thinking about church, real church. I'm not sure that I know of many congregations that go to the extent that AA goes to in order to accommodate and help people, but I do know that many churches do try. Many for example reach out to the orphans, the developmentally challenged, those that are in wheelchairs, and even the hard of hearing with earphones. Mental illness, not so much, but on many issues they do a great job.


But in my heart, I knew that there was something more to AA than what I find in many congregations. When I attend the meetings I feel at home. I feel welcomed. Quite frankly, even though it is strictly not a religious organization, I feel like I am in a true Church. There are two reasons on why I feel so comfortable there.


First, everyone is welcoming. It is inclusive and they strive to be that way. Newcomers are welcome and the old timers continue to come.  Many of these folks meet on a daily basis for meetings and share snacks and coffee.There are people of every color. There are females and males. There are people of every sexual orientation. People of every religious and political belief attend, There is no hierarchy - everyone is on the same level and everyone shares the duties that need to be done. Anyone is allowed to share and none is allowed to interrupt. When the stories are shared everyone nods their head and they laugh and sometimes they cry. This is family.


Second, and more profoundly for me, everyone is broken. People have come and they continue to come because they know that they are powerless over the alcohol, or drugs or some other addiction. Each person comes because they know that for that day, they need their "Higher Power" to help them once again. They need the power of the group to be of an encouragement to not go back to that addiction again. And because they are all seeking the same thing, there is no pride, no hierarchy, no condemnation. In fact, one of my favorite things to see is a man or a woman coming back to a meeting and sharing that they fell - they picked up the drink again after a time of sobriety. It is a blessed time because that individual is welcomed with open arms, is given a new 24 hour chip, is loved and encouraged. No condemnation for failure, only love.


People know of my disdain for the American politicized Church. Of course I am speaking in general. There are some fine congregations out there serving Jesus faithfully. But the overall Church in America is in trouble. Many congregations are not inclusive and welcoming. Certain perceived sins will keep individuals from being welcomed. Certain colors of skin will keep one out. If one does not have 100% compliance with theology or political beliefs, they are shunned. Most congregations do a terrible job with mental illness.


When I attend different churches I see so much religious pride. Homosexuality is the issue of the day and that is only for one reason: so that individuals do not have to look at the sins of their own lives. Sins of gluttony, pride, drunkenness, sexual immorality, lust and envy. We come to church with that holier than thou attitude where at least "we are not like them" and so God must be better pleased with us. The individual who falls into sin often times is not loved and welcomed and encouraged. They are condemned or shunned. At least most places that I have been.


Which brings me back to AA. I love to attend when I can. I feel God's presence in these meetings. I need that presence for I am a broken person in so many ways just like every other individual there. People know why I am there and they welcome me as I observe and as I listen. I nod with the group as we hear a story of brokenness. It may not be our exact story, but we know. There is no pride thinking that anyone has attained recovery. It's one humble day at a time. The individual with one day of recovery and the one with 20 years of recovery are both seen as equal, because either one could fail that very day. But even if they do fail, they are welcomed back the very next meeting. They are loved, encouraged and hugged. They receive their 24 hour chip and they continue on.


That is Church, not in the religious sense of course. And yet, that is where I feel more intimately in God's presence. In the middle of brokenness, He can be found. God looks for the humble, broken spirit and contrite heart, for the one that acknowledges without hesitation that they are powerless over whatever addiction of the brain that they may have. Psalm 51:17.


Blessings
David

Being a Peacemaker

Peacemaking has been on my heart this week. All around us, we are hearing of unrest. As a Jesus follower it is even more bothersome as I grapple with how to extend peace even when wrongs are being done. I've heard more about murders in the past week then I have in any time that I can recall.


Just think of the many headlines: young black men dying in several cities when they have encounters with law enforcement. People of many religions being killed and even beheaded in Iraq. An estimated 191,000 deaths in Syria. Afghanistan. Sudan. Darfur. Libya. Many Christians are up in arms thinking that the ALS bucket challenge is killing embryo's (it's not - do your research).


The facts are that murders are actually down in the US along with the abortion rate and so we can take comfort in this. However, I struggle with these things on a different level. I struggle with my response to these things. I even struggle putting this into words.


I admire the MLKs, Ghandis, Mother Teresas and Jimmy Carters of this world. Each of these individuals along with so many others have shown what it means to truly be a peacemaker.


Bringing it down to my level: I wonder how much better of a person I can be if only I would seek more to live at peace with each individual that crosses my path. How do I react if someone slanders me? How do I react when someone cuts me off in traffic? How do I react when I see others who are arguing?  Do I respond in peace towards anyone that might hurt me, family, friends or my country in any way? Do I hold grudges towards those that have done me wrong?


I'm not offering answers today. Just thought provoking questions for myself.  Peacemaking calls for restoration. Peacemaking calls for the lack of desire to destroy my enemies. Peacemaking calls me to show love, grace and mercy to every person regardless of what they have done.


Blessed or happy are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. I am His child, but I want to be known as His child. To be known as His child I must practice peace with all people. Easier said than done.


Blessings
David

Biblical Mental Illness Stories

With the death of Robin Williams, we have seen a spike in the interest of people concerning what mental illness is and how can it be overcome. Among religious groups there tends to be certain lines of thought. For example some religious groups believe that mental illness:

1. Simply does not exist. It is a behavioral or sin problem.
2. It does exist, but prayer, Bible reading, etc. can cure it.
3. It is a real physiological problem.
4. It is demon possession.
5. It is a combination of these things.

The majority of people would say that the Bible never mentions mental illness and then, some would then say that this proves that it is simply a sin problem. They seem to have no comprehension that the brain can become diseased just as the liver, the heart, or even one's eyes.


In an upcoming book, I want to challenge the belief that the Bible does not deal with mental illness. I believe that it does and it does so in at least a dozen different people's lives. And so, this post is simply an opportunity for me to give you a taste of what I have found. Why is this important? Simply put, it is estimated that 25% of our population will live with some type of mental health difficulty ranging from a mild depression to severe, to bipolar and schizophrenia, to OCD and PTSD. If the Bible recognizes the possibility of mental health concerns, then we need to be able to learn more compassion and less judgementalism towards those who are experiencing difficulties. We need to be able to come along side to encourage these individuals just as we would if they had cancer, a broken leg, or some other sickness.


Our journey starts in I Samuel 21 with King Saul on the warpath for the next anointed King, David. David takes off in fear of his life. He leaves so quickly that he neglects to bring a weapon or even some food and so 3 days later he lies to the priest in order to be able to get these necessities. He then takes off for the city of Gath where Achish is King. Upon arrival the King's men recognize him and are fearful of him as they know of the many that he has killed and so they confront him. Now, notice what happens next:
            
                  "David then feared for his life and so he changed his behavior towards them.
                   He became like a mad man (mental illness/insanity), scratched things into
                   the gates, and letting his own saliva drool all over his beard."


Wow! Here David starts lying and deceiving again (this time to protect himself). And how does he do it? By pretending to have mental illness! Where would he learn these behaviors? The answer is found in the response of King Achish:


                    "Don't I have enough mad, mentally ill people around here? Do I really need
                      another mentally unstable person here? Get him out of here!"


And so David's life is saved and he moves on. But notice, the King claims to have more than enough mentally ill people around him, around most likely the gates begging. He wants no new folk. The people of that day fully knew what madness looked like. It is an accepted fact.


From the life of David, we then can move on to Jeremiah, Elisha, Job, Samson, Jonah, Moses, Ezekiel, Nebuchadnezzar, and others who either suffered themselves or have shown something in their stories showing it within the community. Oh, let me not forget Jesus, yes Jesus, but you must wait for the book on that.


One of the important features of this book will be to point out that never is a mentally ill person told to repent, to believe, to read their Bible's more, or to even pray. They are accepted, they are loved, and sometimes they were healed. There was no condemnation towards them as mental illness is a legitimate physical illness.


As I have read so much on the life of Robin Williams in these last days, I have been appalled at the vicious comments towards him and towards mental illness in general. His daughter took down her social media sites as the nastiness was simply too much.


We as Jesus followers are called to be different. Robin did not take his life - an illness did. We must surround his family, we must surround other families, we must surround those who are experiencing mental health challenges and we must show them the love and compassion of God. They are not experiencing these things because of sin. They have a physical illness. We know that with the right help, 90% will go on to live productive lives, but they will need the love of family, friends, and community to do so.


RIP Robin Williams. May we as Jesus followers do a better job of loving others as a result of your life.


Blessings,
David

Robin Williams

When I first started this blog, I wrote that there would be more questions than answers and that I needed to learn to live in  the tension of not having all of the answers. When I first heard of the death of Robin, my heart literally sank. I knew right away that people would try an explain the reasons for his taking of his own life, but in reality there would be no answers. Yes, the man had everything from many people's point of view and yet deep inside was a battle for his mind that had lasted for well over 30 years. For those who have never experienced depression, there will be no comprehension of the excruciating pain that he was suffering.

My heart sank on that day because those in mental health recovery looked up to Robin. We saw an example of a man who lived with a mental illness and also addiction, and yet used the depression to bring humor and laughter too so many. And therein lies the problem with so many of us: we assume that people can simply pop a pill, change an attitude, pick themselves up by the bootstraps, surround themselves with friends, read the Bible or pray more....the list goes on. We think that there is some easy cure and there is not. We assume that recovery is a destination and it is not. Recovery is actually a journey, not a place where you attain perfection.

My heart, and the hearts of so many around the world, sank in fear upon learning the news. Many of us tend to think that we have somehow achieved and so we grow lax in how we take care of the mental health condition. We fail to realize that more often than not, we have a life long battle. We don't want to believe. We want the magic pill and it is not there.

This blog today is not some cheery, happy go lucky, solve a problem type deal. It can't be. My heart is much to heavy with his death and how my life has been this year. That's reality. January and February were extremely rough months with the difficulty with my wife, the suicide of a friend, a hospital stay for my son. My emotions have been all over the place. From there a stalker came into my life and caused me much grief. I lost most of my weight, not because I tried, but because of the constant stress. A deep depression set in, and I masked it with a flurry of activity. When I took my sabbatical, I knew that I was in deep trouble. Visual hallucinations had briefly visited me for several weeks and dark thoughts came wondering why I would not take my own life. I resigned most everything that I was involved in, so that I could take care of myself. I was able to get some clarity.

When you are in severe pain, you can not think rationally. Of course Robin had everything, but the pain of the depression overcame that eyesight.  The pain can overwhelm someone quickly. It can suffocate them. One looks and reaches for whatever they think can end that pain. They see no other way out. The tools that they have in their mental health toolbox don't seem to be working. To take one's own life is not cowardly - it's just that the pain is way too much. When trapped in a desperate situation, people do desperate things, including even taking their own life.

I have many tools in my mental health toolbox. I am using them all right now: meditations, friends, family, reading, writing, prayers, projects, medications, eating and sleeping habits, and yes even a little wine (which makes glad the heart). It's been extremely hard work, but the extreme dark place is gone.

When Robin died, many of our hearts sank. They sank because those of us who have suffered with depression, know of the extreme hard work that it takes to stay in recovery. Our hearts sank, because we knew that it could have been us. It could have been me.

Robin was not a coward, as one broadcaster stated. He was courageous. He fought extremely well for at least 30 years. We really will never know what caused his last decision and speculation needs to stop. We need to remember his genius that was born out of pain. We need to remember his brilliance, his creativity, his laughter, and his ability to make us laugh.

We need to remember to take care of ourselves and to encourage one another. We need to share our stories. By sharing our stories and coming out "of the closet" we encourage others.We are not immune and Robin's death should be a sobering reminder to keep up the very hard fight.


RIP Robin and thank you for all that you gave to us.

Blessings
David

Being Still, Being Quiet

I love to write and I love to speak before people. Really, I love to try and make people think and to influence them in one way or another. Because of that I sometimes say more than I should, or I stick my foot in my mouth, or I end up apologizing for something that I have said in a hurtful or a bad manner. It's easy to do!


My hardest times are when I know that someone has done or said something against me that is completely wrong. I want to shout about the injustice of it all to the whole world. You know what I mean? We both seen it done all the time on social media. Dirty laundry is hung out for all to see. It is proclaimed to hurt the other and to defend ourselves.


I know of some things being said about me right now that are totally incorrect and I want to speak out, to defend myself. I've lost friends and even a family member. That hurts and the pain runs deep. I even have a stack of evidence to show that I am not wrong in this situation, and yet I keep quiet.


Being still and being quiet is a spiritual practice for a life of faith.


I think of the Bible verse that says to be still and that you will know that He is God. To be still is to cause yourself to let go, to take your grip off of any given situation. To be still and to be quiet certainly is not in my nature in this situation and yet that is what my spiritual journey asks me to do. I have to let go of the situation, not because I do not want to see it resolved, not because I don't want to regain family or friends, not because I don't want to exact my own revenge.


I let go so that I can see God do His own work. I'm sure He will do a better job (but I still want the control!) But therein lies the paradox: when I let go, when I keep quiet and when I sit still, the Spirit can do His work so much better than I could have ever dreamed. Letting go means getting something accomplished. "Vengeance is mine" He says and so I let go. In clarification: I am not looking for vengeance in this situation - I simply want the truth known. I want the pain of rejection to stop.


Being quiet and being still brings on isolation. Friends or family may not understand the silence. This silence forces me to isolate in regards to the given issue. It forces me to go into a retreat. That retreat forces me to focus on myself and my own faith, my own level of living in Spirit. It's in that quietness that I grow. If I am out trying to defend myself or trying to spread "truth" I lose the ability to grow personally. When I am silent, I learn to be comfortable in who I know that I am. With that comfort ability, I have no need to speak. Reminds me of Jesus, who when people spoke evil things of Him, He did not open His mouth. He was silent. He did not need to defend Himself for He was comfortable in knowing the real truth. Nothing would change other people's minds until their spirit journey changed. Almost everyone deserted Him by the time of the cross, and yet He cried for forgiveness upon those who spoke evil. Later, the truth would come out. Later the friends and family would return.


I've been given the opportunity to grow myself in this way. It is painful and it is difficult. Learning the discipline of staying still, of not speaking is challenging. However, with that stillness comes a deeper meditation and a deeper mindfulness. It brings focus. It brings clarity. It brings a deeper sense of faith. In due time, it brings truth.


I hope that my spiritual journey is an encouragement for yours today.


Blessings,
David

Yes, I Am A Progressive

One of the ways in which I continue to be challenged is to how willing I am to be open to change. I believe that I should be always changing, always questioning my beliefs, always looking for better ways to do things, even better ways to make other lives better. I believe that the Bible is a progressive book and so therefore my faith and spiritual life should also be progressive.


Having grown up in more of a fundamentalist background, I take a lot of flack over this. I have friends and some family tell me how "back slidden" I am and that I need to come back to the "real" truth. When I try to question something, I am told that they simply know what is truth. I'm over that.  I have more questions about the Bible than I have answers and I love the uneasy tension of that. It forces me to seek out His answers and to worship Him, and not the Book.


I said that the Bible is a progressive book. From the Old Testament to the New Testament alone one can see so many changes. In the Old, you killed all of your enemies. In the New, we are told to love them. In the Old men had many wives and were often commanded to do so. In the New, at least the ministers could only have one wife. In the Old women were seen as pieces of property. In the New we find that their rights are greatly expanded and women were even a part of Jesus' inner circle.


For myself and many others, we do not believe that progress should stop there. For example, in the New we find that slavery was still acceptable within the church and within that culture. Today's church fights hard against all forms of slavery. In the New, women still were not allowed to speak or to be heard. And yet the Word clearly states that there is no difference between male and female and so many in the church take that seriously today. Women now have the right to vote. They now have a voice. For a progressive, the right to equal pay for the equal work of men is next.


The Bible was never meant to be a stagnant book, stuck in time. It was meant to be progressive and Jesus wants that progress to continue. The Kingdom of God, we are told, is to continue to grow until it is felt in every remote part of our societies. We are to seek to bring more and more justice to all areas of life.  Slavery, although in the Bible, is not justice. Women, being treated as pieces of property, although recognized in the Bible, is not justice. Health care for all, in the richest nation on earth, is justice. Reducing our thirst for a national war machine is justice. The list goes on.


I find that because people hear that I am progressive in my views, that they write me off. They say that I am trying to destroy the Christian faith with my "liberal ideas," that I focus to much on social justice, that I support equal rights with no discrimination for all people, not just a few. Fundamentalism focuses on a salvation prayer, abortion and homosexuality to the neglect of so many more issues. Fundamentalism is a religion that is desperately trying to hold on to a precious few ideas that may or may not be wrong to the exclusion of the meatier issues which will actually grow them in their faith.


I am a progressive. I attempt to follow Jesus and His teachings. I attempt to make this country and this world a better place in which to live. I refuse to be stuck in the Old or New Testaments. I use them both to spring into even more progress for the cause of humankind and for the Kingdom of God.


Blessings,
David


PS: Here is a great quick article that I challenge you to read if you want to know more about 4 ways in which fundamentalist get progressives all wrong.
http://www.faithstreet.com/onfaith/2014/08/07/4-ways-christian-fundamentalists-get-progressive-christianity-shockingly-wrong/33537

Who or What is God?

This post title alone, I am sure, has brought a few of you to read today. My conservative friends will be reading this to see where I have departed from the faith! After all, God is a person, not an inanimate object as the word "what" would infer.  And I would agree, at least to a certain degree. Keep reading.......


For me it is one of the great mysteries trying to understand who God really is. And yet God is to be the beginning of and then the center of my spirituality. Since I was a small child, I have always thought of God being up in Heaven waiting for people to join Him when their time had come. Jesus would be there also, but His Spirit would be here within my life.


But for me to grow in my spiritual life, I have needed a better definition of where God is. And so, I come back to the words of Paul who is credited in the book of Acts as saying that God is the one by whom we "live and move and have our being." In other words, God is all around and all in us. God is not in any particular location. He is the location and we are in Him. The Psalmist cries out where can I go from your Spirit? The answer is nowhere, because He is the location of where we are. Mystical stuff. Confusing stuff. Good Bible college late night talk stuff.


All around us is that alternate universe that we can not see or touch. The Bible speaks to the fact that spiritual activity is all around us, even that angels walk among us without our even knowing it. For example, we are told to be hospitable towards all people, as some of them may be angels that we do not recognize. We are living in two worlds: the earthly world that we can see and touch and then there is the spirit or spiritual world that is also all around and even in us. And remember, God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.


Why is that important to my spiritual growth? To grow spiritually means that I must learn to more and more recognize that He is in me and all around me. He is with me. I am in Him. For me my spiritual journey is of day by day trying to follow even more the two commandments: Love God and love my neighbor. That happens when I start to see God in everything around me. When I look at a Florida sunset I see His work and my heart fills in praise. When I see an individual, I see someone who was made in His image. When I see something that is deformed I cry out to Him to have mercy. Everywhere I look, I see Him, and so I converse with Him. He is my All in All.


Admittedly, seeing God in everything, or should I say, seeing everything in God, is far more difficult to practice than it is to talk about. But that is my goal and desire - to have that oneness, that fulfillment, that total love and compassion that He only has. My own spirit and the many spirits around me prevent that unity, love and compassion on a daily basis. However, the more I can learn to focus on seeing God everywhere, the closer I will come to true spirituality.


Blessings,
David

Too Easy To Fall Back

I love the story of King David and am currently doing research that will provide material for two books that I want to write about him. He is a fascinating figure to me in many ways. The Bible portrays him in such an ordinary way and yet he is a study in contrasts. He is called beloved by God, and yet he appears to me to be often filled with pride, and he often is nothing less than barbaric in his actions. He often lies, he is a ladies man, he dances with little, to no modesty and yet he still is beloved by God. There are no miracles associated with his story and yet there is more written about him that any other human in the Scripture.


As I was studying yesterday in I Samuel 23-24 I saw a man that was being chased through the wilderness by an irate King Saul. He was being hunted like a wild animal. And yet through it all David showed great respect towards the King and when opportunity arose to kill him, he chose not too, deciding to leave that in the Lord's hands. In Psalm 57 we see David seeking out God in the midst of this difficulty. He is praising God for deliverance and for safety that still has not been evidenced. His faith is high - He is on a mountaintop of spiritual experience. He's got it together!


And then comes the next day - chapter 25. David, and his men, were known to help people as they went along and so they stopped at Nabal's, whom they had helped, and asked for some food, as the men were extremely hungry. Nabal said no. A light went on in David's head and suddenly he was full of himself and the things that he and his men had done for Nabal and others. Pride overcame him, and then anger, and he sought to gather the men to go and kill Nabal and presumably those with him. Nice Godly guy right?  Thankfully Nabal's beautiful wife stepped in between and prevented the bloodshed and David had a change of heart (he fell in love immediately with this married lady and would later marry her).


Like I said, I love the story of David. I see my story within his. I don't have to wonder - I know - how often I will feel like I am close to my Creator and then I will turn around and do something really stupid the next minute. Simply put, it's kind of like walking out of a praise filled worship service only to yell obscenities at the little old lady that just cut me off! Ever done that?!


What encourages me about David's story, and thus my own, is that David was honestly seeking God with all of his heart. And yet he kept screwing up, and yet he kept coming back and this is important....and yet he was still loved by God. I can beat myself up all that I want when I screw up, but it is comforting for me personally to know that I keep coming back and He does not look down on me or hate me in any way. He loves me as I am and usually gently keeps bringing me back. He is loving and compassionate. He is gracious and has so much patience. One can not escape the love and compassion of God.


Grace, forgiveness, compassion and love - all available if I will just stop and turn back. All free. I feel completely inadequate and undeserving. No one had ever been able to love me in such a way and yet there He is, waiting.

Don't Discriminate! Love and Serve All!

"It’s not discrimination when we are prevented from doing the discriminating. It’s not persecution when we are prevented from doing the persecuting. It’s not bullying when we’re told that we can’t bully others."

                                                      Benjamin Corey 


It is a bad human trait I guess. We criticize others, we look down on others, we condemn others. That is, we do those things if they believe differently, look differently, or act differently. Well, at least I do. There is that measure of pride within me, maybe that ancient attitude of self protection, that makes me want to put down and look down on others so that I can look and feel better than they.


Somehow in life, I always make myself feel morally superior to others. After all, whatever sins I may commit are not as bad as the ones that another person commits. I really am in fact trying to protect a fragile image of myself through pride. It's always about being the best, or at least better than most others. When that false pride rears its ugly head, I feel better about myself and I hide behind that mask of pretense. In fact, I am simply another white washed gravestone with stinking bones inside.


The quote above is by a new favorite blogger of mine (you can find him on the Patheos channel). Benjamin was referring to Christian's reactions in regards to the President signing an anti-discrimination law in regards to the LGBT community for federal workers/agencies. There were Christians who spoke up and have claimed/will continue to claim that this is discrimination against them and that this is persecution - the persecution complex.


This post is not about whether the LGBT community is right/wrong, sinful or not. This is about me (and maybe you) and our attitudes towards those who are different from us. Years ago, I would have felt morally superior to this community, towards divorced people, towards gluttons, and towards drunkards, just to name a few groups! I felt that if I didn't do certain things then I was somehow better and was also in better standing with God. After all, how could not think better of me when compared to _________ (put whatever sin you want on that line - go ahead do it - what is the one thing that you would never do, you morally superior person - lol).


Now that I will be turning the AARP age of 50 this fall, God has shown me much in this area - namely that I am not superior in any way. I had an alcohol abuse problem for many years. I am divorced. I've been an obese glutton. And yet - God still loves me. He accepts me where I am at. He does not condemn me in any way. In light of that unconditional love, what do I do? I discriminate against others. I look down on them still because they are just not like me. I tell them that their "sin" is somehow worse than my own and I deny them rights in society that I already have, but they are not good enough for. Ouch. Kind of hypocritical on my part. I'm bullying that other person or group of people and then when someone steps in and says you can't do that, I cry out that I am being persecuted and bullied. I somehow fail to see that my actions are just as bad as any other and why should I deny someone else something when claim those things in spite of my actions?


Again, this post is not about the LGBT community. It is about me. What is my attitude towards others? Do I show love and do I treat each person with complete respect regardless of whether I think that their actions or thoughts are right or wrong? Do I treat others in the way that I would want to be treated? If the government denied me rights because I was a Jesus follower and not a Buddha follower - how would I feel? Discrimination is discrimination. Persecution is persecution. Bullying is bullying. They all cut the same - lack of love.


In my spiritual journey, I seek to love all, regardless of their perceived shortcomings in my own mind. 30 years ago, this would not have been true. Two commandments: Love God and love your neighbor as you would want to be loved if they considered you to have shortcomings.


Blessings,
David


PS: Here is the link to Benjamin's article if you are interested:    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/so-listen-its-not-religious-discrimination-just-because-you-cant-discriminate/

Sharing My Spiritual Journey With You

My life has been a very public one. Whether it has been in church ministry, in business, or in political  or social activism, I have been in a spot light of some type. And yet so many people are amazed when they learn of my story behind the scenes, sometimes exciting and at other times an absolutely dreadful. I hope that through this blog that you will learn more of my story and that it will be an encouragement to you.


I have done a great deal of writing over the years, on many different subjects, but this blog will be different. This is where I want to record my spiritual journey. I'm doing it for myself mainly to help clarify what is going on in my head and my life, and yet I will leave it open for others, for you, to watch. Perhaps somewhere along the line, you will read something that will be one of those "aha" moments for you.


This spiritual journey is not about being a Christian. I'm not a Christian - at least not the type that you see so much of in the mega churches and in the political arena today. But I am trying to follow the teachings of Jesus in my own personal life. Yes, I said "trying....." I want to be a follower especially of the 2 great commandments, loving God and loving people.


So, what is my spiritual journey? For those looking at me from the outside, it was being baptized as an infant in the Catholic Church. It was finding Jesus through a sinner's prayer in 1972 as a young seven year old. It was attending a Conservative Baptist Church in the Northeast and then living my teenage years at a worldwide religious organization (Word of Life Fellowship) centered in upstate New York. At 19 I entered church ministry where I would serve for the next 15 years. I served as a pastor (youth, associate and senior) in several states with different denominations: Conservative Baptist, Independent Baptist, American Baptist, and the Presbyterian Church of America. Today I attend several different churches


But here is a brief snapshot of the inside spiritual journey which is even more varied (and that's what I will be sharing with you in the blog). I started out as a pretty strict moralist who would condemn anyone or anything that I felt was unbiblical. I felt it was my duty to call folks out. I loved Jesus and was not afraid to share that with anyone. I was, I am sure, pretty obnoxious at times! I served in several Baptist churches after attending 2 years of Bible school, but I kept having some nagging questions about some things that I was taught. 10 years after college, I went back to get my degree and as I studied, I confronted some of my nagging questions and I switched over to Presbyterian doctrine. I left the ministry in 1999 disillusioned with church in general and many preachers in particular, over politics and power. I haven't been a member of any church in at least 10 years and don't see that changing. I still detest the power and politics in most of American Christianity, but I feel great compassion for individuals. I seek to now follow the red letters (Jesus' words) and yet probably fail more than often succeed. I figure if I can get Jesus' words down, then maybe I can get some of the other author's words down!


I've gone through several life altering events in my life - game changers. One of them just this year. These game changers have shattered many ideas and beliefs that I have had, but instead of driving me away from Jesus, they have eventually brought me closer to His teachings - actually a new understanding of His teachings and even the teachings of the entire Scripture. With that, I now mentally live in a world where it is ok to live in the midst of questions, to not have answers, where it is ok to critically look at everything I have ever believed spiritually. And with that my spiritual journey has changed completely.


I won't be writing in the days ahead to show you where I have it all together. You will most likely than not see where I have more questions than answers. As someone who is attempting to be a Jesus follower, I have come to realize that this is a journey and not a destination.


If you are comfortable with your Christianity and you have all of your beliefs all tidy and lined up - you are not going to enjoy this blog. Matter of fact, you'll most likely get angry - just fair warning! Anyone who knows me, knows that my words can provoke deep emotions in others! (Depart now - the roller coaster is about to depart!). But if you, like me, have questions - if you want something deeper than what you see - if you are willing to challenge your current beliefs to find that deeper spiritual journey - then climb aboard! It should be an interesting journey.


Please also take the time to leave comments, to pose questions, to share experiences, to express pleasure or to express anger. Come join me and let's grow together.


Blessings
David